My Inner Teacher is a Space Alien

Yoga Town's AmberAs I was in my Vinyasa flow class today, the instructor asked us to listen to our inner teacher. She said that the inner teacher was the little voice deep inside that is always there to guide you.  As she was explaining this my inner teacher, whom I call, Billie, was telling me that I needed to tape Jimmy Fallon, that I forgot to water the lawn and that the prayer twist was making me feel like a pretzel gone Pete Tong.

Billie is an asshole.  He sabotages me every turn he gets.  He is especially annoying when he pushes me into the worm hole of the future.  He is is like that little space alien in the old Bugs Bunny cartoons.  Billie isn’t helpful, he is hurtful. He reminds me to pay my parking ticket by tomorrow or the fee goes up.  He tells me what I should make for the upcoming weekend dinner party, and he always nags on me to get to work earlier.  He takes great pleasure in pushing me into the future ,as if I can do something about it now.  Staying in the Now, a Hell of a task for anyone, and yet it seems with Billie, its impossible.

When I was a little girl, I had an invisible friend.  He was my best buddy and was always there when no one else was.  And guess what his name was?

You got it, Billie.

Well, I’m all grown up now and Billie has turned into a menacing jerk! He seems to have decided to torment me constantly. If only I could make him disappear.  There’s only one choice.  I’ve got to kill Billie, the little space alien, inner voice asshole!  But, every time I try, he comes back.

He’s like a cat with 9000 lives. Anyone with ideas on how to kill Billie is welcome to share some advice.  God knows, I could use it.

Jill Hope Johnson

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