Boys may not eat quiche, but they do yoga!

I was in a basic yoga 101 class the other day, with 20 Grade 9 hockey playing boys.  Yup.  My life, while blessed, does have some down sides.  One would think that 20 Grade 9 boys doing yoga for the first time is a recipe for complete disaster (fart jokes and mat wrestling included).  However, the reality was really quite different.  These 13 year olds, full of smells, hormones and acne, all seemed to find that place between pleasure and patience. They weren’t acting out. They didn’t want to wrestle. They avoided ‘showing off’. All the boys live well programmed, high achieving, jock style lives.  This wasn’t the nerd kids or the artsy ones. These were the tough guys. And the wildest thing occurred as they embraced ‘the calm’. They were ‘in it’. The yoga instructor made it easy with her relaxed tone and specific intentions. And, amazingly these hockey playing, swearing, aggressive boys became pussycats lying in the sun basking in the glory of ‘stillness’.

This, my friends, is the power of yoga.  Yoga is really just about helping us ‘cope’ in the World.  It makes us less reactionary and makes us realize that from the inside out, were all just seeking the same things: being comfortable in our own skin; being less reactionary; being free to just ‘be’.  Through this stillness we learn to manage our own inner chaos.  And really, isn’t that all that we really need to get through a day?

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Yoga Town Episode 2 – Elijah enters the House of Love

Wow! Its been great to see your response to the show! I know you’re gonna love the next episode! We really get to know Elijah’s persuasions in this one, as well as learning about passionate Chas and his reason for teaching at Yoga Town. Did you know that Chas was once in a reality show called ‘Real Pool Boys of Vancouver’? Unfortunately, he was first voted off the pool deck! Our protagonist, Willow, is pushed to the edge when her competition doesn’t ‘level’. Elijah with his Go Yoga truck is the funny pied piper of Yoga who won’t go away. His charm seems to have won over Amber who is enamored by Elijah’s seductive ways and can’t wait to taste his butter chicken! Willow is disgusted and comes up with a plan to get the piper to ‘leave’! But, will it work? We’ll find out!

Please keep the tweets, likes, and comments coming through! Awesome to see what you’re thinking. Tell me who your favourite character is and why!

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IN the Yo-zone

Yoga Town's AmberHave you ever wondered why yoga seems so f-ing hard sometimes, and so f-ing easy at other times? There are those days that it feels like waterboarding would be an easier fate than yo-torture. Those days are Hell. The body doesn’t do much but lumber from one sloth-like position to the other. And, the mind, well it’s just gone out for a chardonnay lunch with the girls.
Many of my yoga practices are like that. I slog through it, hoping that it’s over sooner, than later. However, on occasion, I find a place that is different.

The Yo-zone is an enchanted place. Its like I’m outside of myself looking in and noticing how fabulous I am. Royalty has kissed me, and I’ve awakened to a new world. I am the happy, sanitary napkin girl running through the fields in the commercial. Nothing stops me. The thick mound of plastic-laced cotton swab between my legs is giving me freedom. I’m flowing, even when I’m flowing. And really a sense of complete gratitude comes over me, like I just got told I won the lottery. I plot how I would spend it, on Fluevog shoes to start with, and then on others, giving loads of my cash away. I think about what a great philanthropist I would be and how everyone would talk about how generous I am. I would name a wing of the yoga studio after myself and create free classes for all. I would become Yo-Royalty based on my Virgin Millionaire mentality.

The Yo-zone is like the illusive possibility of complete happiness that is always on the edge and just out of reach. The abyss is what pulls me over most of the time. But maybe that’s it. The edge is where I want to be.
Maybe the Yo-zone is that in between awful and tremendous state of mind, body and soul. I mean isn’t life really about the process, the journey, the path, and not the outcome. Mind you, to be a Virgin Millionaire would be a Hell of an outcome. I say celebrate the Yo when it happens, and pray to have it more than once a year!

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Yoga Town Episode 1 – Real Yoga 4 Real People?

Yoga Town Episode 1I’m thrilled to see all you ‘real people’ out there are ready to lock and load, Yoga Town into your Wednesday evening rituals.  We’ll be uploading a new show every week starting September 26.  Coincidentally, that’s my mother’s birthday! H.B. Mom.

In Episode 1, Willow, our fledging heroine and owner of Yoga Town is facing financial ruin.  Our karmically-challenged owner really is trying to do all the right things, but falls short in the karma plate every time.  She offers ‘real yoga for real people’. Willow tries, but she really doesn’t know how to run a business.  She figures good karma will ‘lead the way’. Too bad the World doesn’t really work that way.

In her efforts to providing ‘real yoga for real people’, her World keeps getting messed  up, by people she trusts, including her “I hate Yoga” daughter, Amber; and her overly loyal and lustful instructor, Chas! Stubborn Willow isn’t about to abandon the few clients she has! After all, they need her! So she thinks.   Reality hits when Elijah, the ‘pied piper of yoga’, moves in with his mobile Go Yoga truck and sets up shop.  The fight is on! Doing real yoga for real people has never been so tough.

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Is My Yoga Instructor Channeling Drew Carey or Jane Fonda?

My Yoga Instructor at Yoga TownYes!  You are the next contestant on ‘Strike a Pose’ – the new game show for those people that can’t be motivated to do anything but eat chips and dent the couch! Okay, so maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit about my overly enthusiastic Hot Yoga instructor.  But really! I’m in the class, which means I was motivated to get off the couch and abandon the milk duds for 90 minutes.  So, give me a break, lady. You aren’t Drew Carey and I don’t wanna make a deal!

And since when do we need to have the constant drone of a Jane Fonda fitness tape rolling in our minds? Aren’t we past that place of ‘Let’s Get Physical’ , big hair, and ‘do it til it burns? The never shutting up  yoga instructor  is a huge pet peeve of mine. Where’s the ‘Zen’, the meditation, the peace? And when do we have to ‘count numbers’ in a yoga class anyway? That’s so ‘1980’s’!  I wonder what Gandhi would have to say about that?

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Yo-mancing the Om

Yoga Town's Amber and ChasI think I’ve fallen in love.  It is always ‘the voice’ that gets me.  I never thought an Ommm could be such a turn on!

Why were Micheal Douglas and Kathleen Turner so ‘hot’ in that 1984 adventure movie classic, Romancing the Stone? It was their voices.  Micheal had that kind of voice that says, “I don’t need to say much, just look at me. I’m already a God. I’m from the Hollywood Gene Pool, the sperm bank of good looks. And when I do talk, I never yell. I don’t need to. I’m Micheal.”  And then Kathleen Turner, the deepest, most seducing female voice this side of Mr. T.  Oh geez. Now I’m really dating myself!

Whose your favorite yoga voice? I know you must have one.  You know , when the Ommmmm goes through your belly, making it into a gummy tummy.  Tell me whose voice turns you ‘on’ in class.  The singers are always good. Though the sales pitch for buying their latest CD while in class seems a bit much.  Those that can sing, should. Those that can’t, well Honey, take it into the showers.

Nothing is more distracting in Savasana than a bad singer. And unless you’re KD Lang, don’t ever attempt Halleluiah. Let’s praise the good singer.  The one who has the voice of a Tibetan monk.  Their chants send you into that melt away place of existence.  All you singers out there.  Want a no-hassel built in audience?  Teach yoga. Oh. You already are.  Thought so.

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My Inner Teacher is a Space Alien

Yoga Town's AmberAs I was in my Vinyasa flow class today, the instructor asked us to listen to our inner teacher. She said that the inner teacher was the little voice deep inside that is always there to guide you.  As she was explaining this my inner teacher, whom I call, Billie, was telling me that I needed to tape Jimmy Fallon, that I forgot to water the lawn and that the prayer twist was making me feel like a pretzel gone Pete Tong.

Billie is an asshole.  He sabotages me every turn he gets.  He is especially annoying when he pushes me into the worm hole of the future.  He is is like that little space alien in the old Bugs Bunny cartoons.  Billie isn’t helpful, he is hurtful. He reminds me to pay my parking ticket by tomorrow or the fee goes up.  He tells me what I should make for the upcoming weekend dinner party, and he always nags on me to get to work earlier.  He takes great pleasure in pushing me into the future ,as if I can do something about it now.  Staying in the Now, a Hell of a task for anyone, and yet it seems with Billie, its impossible. continue reading »

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Yoga Town

Yoga TownA new mockumentary web comedy about a single mum and her angst ridden daughter who own a struggling yoga studio.

Beginning in Fall 2012!!

 

 

 

 

 

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